Let's be honest, no one wants to be stepped on. So, when someone tells you to stop letting it happen, you can second-guess yourself by asking, “Oh, wait, I was just being nice…but am I really naive?”
It can be hard to distinguish between a nice person and someone who is fake, which is why in this article I'm going to list the signs that you're not fake, you just have a good heart.
1) You do not express anger
“It's okay, don't worry, he won't get angry” is often misinterpreted as a sign that someone who is weak.
But not expressing anger does not mean that someone is weak. That person may simply have developed the virtue and discipline to regulate their emotions. Indeed, not expressing anger should not be interpreted as a sign of weakness, but rather as a manifestation of inner strength and self-control.
It is not that they do not feel anger. The difference is that they don't feel the need to yell or express their irritation at others until they come to terms with themselves and what they really think and feel about the situation.
Rather than being reactive – yelling or expressing irritation – they are able to pause and practice self-awareness even in the most tense situations.
2) You often say, “It's okay.”
One friend only wants to go out at night, the other hates staying up late at night. You, on the other hand, agree with one or the other, as long as your schedule allows it and you have no commitments.
While others think you're too nice to not have a definite preference and to be the one who fits in when others don't, it's just that you're generally aware that you can't put yourself first all the time, as long as it's within what you can reasonably accept, of course.
For example, staying up late once in a while to hang out with friends is fine with you, but you draw the line if the place has a lot of things that are not fine with you.
So someone who is fake has a hard time saying yes or no because having a different preference or opinion is stressful for them, but you don't.
Being flexible doesn't mean you don't know what you want or are afraid to express it, it just means that stepping out of your comfort zone from time to time is not problematic at all.
This is really good.
3) You listen much more than you talk
Listeners are often interpreted as weak people while people who dominate conversations, meetings and conversational situations are seen as more assertive and confident.
But the point is that listening more than talking is not a weakness. It doesn't mean you don't have good ideas to share or that you're not interested.
In fact, it's a strength. Listening is not only a testament to your ability to give your full attention, it shows a genuine interest in understanding others.
Unless what someone says causes a lot of harm, you don't feel the need to talk.
And even when there are things you don't completely agree with, you are willing to take your time to think about them until you have compassion.
So when you ask some questions, it comes from non-judgment and a genuine desire to come to an understanding.
4) You are not a complainer
People who don't complain are often misinterpreted as someone who is fake, but what others don't understand is that you have developed equanimity – the state of remaining calm under stress or hardship and being able to find meaning in the midst of it all.
You also don't like to put energy into focusing on what's wrong. You'd rather just move on and focus on what's working right now and what's good.
While other people will complain and list everything that was wrong, you simply state your preference and your points of growth or improvement. And you do it with compassion, without any trace of condescension or irritation.
For whatever reason, you can simply let it go. This doesn't mean you don't see what's wrong, you've just decided to focus your energy on finding solutions rather than finding faults.
5) You assume the best in people
A friend suddenly cancels your dinner, and you don't bother him about it or even need an apology or explanation.
When some friends in your group are angry, you don't just judge them impulsively. Instead, you take the time to consider that there might be a valid reason for their state of mind. Perhaps they are not feeling well, have important business to attend to, or their mental health is being challenged. You are looking to understand the big picture, rather than jumping to conclusions.
When a car honks loudly and drives by you, you simply assume they have an emergency and give way.
While others will be driven to road rage or even swearing, you simply let them rush by and continue at your pace without carrying the negative energy throughout your day.
While this makes people think you are weak, you simply believe that people may have valid reasons for doing what they are doing, even if it is not the easiest to understand.
6) You share the victories
At work, people think you're too nice because you seem to let others get ahead of you. But the fact is, your kind heart just doesn't see the need to always be on top.
It's not that you don't like to succeed or move toward success, it's just that a harmonious work environment is just as important to you as achievement.
If that means letting other people win here and there, that's fine. You believe in the success of the group and do not have an individualistic perspective.
You know you can put yourself first, while sharing the wins. You are confident enough in your skills and know that you have your own moments to shine.
7) You don't feel the need to explain yourself
When people misunderstand you, you don't really get defensive and explain yourself because you are certain of your intentions.
You also know that how people interpret your actions often has little to do with you. So unless you are asked in a moment to want to understand better, you don't really explain yourself.
Even when others attack you or say negative things about you, you don't feel the need to be defensive. You just let things be.
You feel that this says more about them. Also, you think that the wise will eventually know the truth, so why bother?
8) You are very respectful
Genuinely caring people are always respectful even when others are not, so even when someone is rude, you still act and respond respectfully.
It makes people think you are too nice.
What they don't understand is that you find it easy to say insults or do something to “put them in their place,” but you'd rather not.
Why?
Because it does you no good to demean yourself by conforming to the negative behavior of others.
You are able to keep your cool, even with the most toxic person. That has always been your motto.
9) You forgive people even if they haven't asked you to
Being a kind and forgiving person is often misinterpreted as a sign of weakness.
When other people behave badly to you, you are self-aware enough to go through a process of empathy and understanding, and then let go of anger and resentment.
You do not tolerate abuse and mistreatment in any way. You are simply able to forgive others because your empathy is immense.
It is not so much a matter of forgiving others, but rather of giving yourself peace and freedom of mind by freeing yourself from anger and resentment. Indeed, forgiveness should not be seen as an act of kindness to others, but rather as a way to free yourself from the negative emotional charge that weighs you down. By freeing yourself from anger and resentment, you give yourself the opportunity to regain your inner serenity.
10) You can be friends even with difficult people
When others find it impossible to understand how you can be close with people who are difficult to get along with, they simply assume that it must be because you are too nice a person.
What they don't see, however, is that when someone is seeking attention, you notice their call for attention and are able to make them feel understood. When someone is bossy, you understand that it comes from a need for control.
You are always willing to understand where others are coming from and train yourself to be non-judgmental.
Your genuine kindness allows you to see the best in people and bring out more of them, and that's how you can get along well with them.
Being a kind person is not always the easiest thing when there are people who are willing to step on others to get ahead and get what they want.
So be proud of yourself for keeping your integrity and good heart in the midst of it all.
So don't believe what others say about your kindness being wrong, you support a world where everyone thrives and coexists in harmony.
The world needs many more people like you.
Summary
- 1) You do not express anger
- 2) You often say, “It's okay.”
- 3) You listen much more than you talk
- 4) You are not a complainer
- 5) You assume the best in people
- 6) You share the victories
- 7) You don't feel the need to explain yourself
- 8) You are very respectful
- 9) You forgive people even if they haven't asked you to
- 10) You can be friends even with difficult people
