Personal relationships are a mystery. There's no magic formula and, despite the investment of time and energy, they can sometimes go wrong or not go in the right direction.
Sometimes it's hard to know why this happens. But it's also possible that these doubts have a clear origin. And there are a series of signs that point to this discomfort and can help you pinpoint it.
There are circumstances that can become very complex and make it difficult to know exactly whether or not you're wasting your time with someone. But, as we've mentioned, there are some clear signs that can warn us that we're in a relationship that really isn't right for us.
Lack of commitment
One of the signs that you may be wasting your time with someone who isn't right for you is their lack of commitment. If the other party avoids conversations that have anything to do with your shared future, or prefers to avoid long-term goals, this may be a clear sign that you're wasting your time. A solid, lasting relationship requires commitment and effort from both members.
Lack of reciprocity
A healthy relationship is based on reciprocity between the two parties, where everyone gives and receives equally. If you think you're giving everything of yourself, investing effort, energy, time and resources towards the other person without them doing the same, it's highly likely that you're wasting your time with them, as they don't value your effort.
Disrespect or emotional abuse
The fifth sign that you're wasting your time with someone is one of the most obvious signs, and can be seen when there's a lack of respect or emotional abuse. Mutual respect is fundamental to any healthy relationship, so if you find yourself with someone who humiliates you or subjects you to some kind of emotional abuse, you need to stop investing your time with them.
Poor communication
One of the fundamental pillars of any relationship is communication. If communication between the two of you is deficient, if you're constantly struggling to keep it clear and open with the other person, or if you feel that they're not listening to or understanding you, chances are the other party isn't as involved as you are.
Disinterest in dreams and goals
A person who really cares about you will be interested in your goals and dreams, and will support and help you achieve them. If you feel that the other person shows little interest in your aspirations and doesn't encourage you to achieve what you're looking for, this is one of the signs that may make you think you're wasting your time with them.
Remember that you deserve a relationship in which you feel respected, supported and valued. Therefore, if one or more of these signs are present, it's advisable to reflect and reconsider whether it's really worth continuing to invest your time by her side.
Once you've identified the signs that may indicate whether you're wasting your time with someone, it's worth remembering the keys to keeping in mind so you can enjoy a healthy couple's relationship, and here are them:
- Love in freedom: it's necessary to understand in a couple that one doesn't belong to the other, and that each person must freely decide to maintain a relationship with you and to leave if they see fit. This means that each person must have his or her own private space and intimacy.
- The importance of communication: good communication is one of the fundamental pillars of a couple, as it helps to build a life together. It is recommended that discussions be constructive, expressing one's own feelings and avoiding accusing the other, and discussing only one subject at a time.
- Spend quality time together: it's important for the couple to spend quality time together, sharing hobbies and moments together, such as weekend getaways, dinners or lunches, cinema outings, etc.
- Never stop taking care of the relationship: it's common at the start of relationships for each person to show their best side to the other, by being considerate, giving compliments, etc. Over time, however, these gestures may become less frequent or even disappear. That's why you should never stop taking care of your relationship.
- Respect and trust: respect and trust are two of the most important elements in a healthy relationship. You have to respect and trust the other person, because that's what love is. Relationships based on jealousy and lack of respect are doomed to failure, especially if infidelity is involved.
- Don't change the other person: a common mistake is to try to make the other person change, but in reality, a person only changes when they really want to change or when their environment changes. For this reason, if at any point you want your partner to change, the best thing you can do is change yourself.
