in Relationships

Five reasons why you’ve been ghosting: understanding it will help you avoid it

According to experts, predicting it will also allow for healing, grieving, acceptance and final closure. Within the probabilities, there are certain clues that can help

By now you must know exactly what ghosting is, no matter how much you hate the English terminology. It is a word that has become fashionable because more and more people seem to engage in this practice, at a time when communication via the internet/social networks is on the rise. It would be those who decide to end a relationship, but are not able to give a proper closure to it and expose their feelings, so they end up fleeing forward and failing to answer the other part of the couple, without giving a explanation.

It is normal that the person who is abandoned without any explanation does not understand well what has happened, blames himself/herself for what happened or experiences insecurity and lack of self-esteem. In the end, an abandonment without explanation and in a bad way is a traumatic event, because you have not been able to put an end to something that was once important and, in addition, these things usually happen from one day to the next, so they cannot be foreseen.

In the end, an abandonment without explanation and in a bad way is a traumatic event, because you have not been able to put an end to something that was important at another time.

The curious thing is that it is an attitude that is also becoming normalized in the workplace. Companies assure that they will call potential candidates and when it comes down to it, they never do. In the same way, workers also do it. And neuroscience has shown that the areas of the brain involved in pain perception are activated with the same intensity by emotional pain as by physical injury.

Is it possible to predict ghosting? Actually, according to ‘Psychology Today', yes, and it is effective. According to experts, predicting it will also allow for healing, grieving, acceptance and final closure. Within the odds, there are certain clues that can help.

They experienced abandonment (probably as children).

Maybe they told you they didn't want a serious relationship or commitment. Or they said they just wanted casual sex . They may have even said the opposite by bombarding you with love and telling you that you were the love of their life. However, in describing their past relationships, with friends or romantic partners, I would detect a pattern of them leaving or disengaging without an explanation, or a pattern of casual sex.

Intimacy is more difficult for people who have had early attachment difficulties, such as absent parents, or who have suffered abuse or trauma from people they were supposed to be able to trust while up

Intimacy is more difficult for people who have had early attachment difficulties, such as absent parents, or who have suffered abuse or trauma from people they were supposed to be able to trust while growing up.

They avoid expressing their feelings

Some people's feelings are overwhelming for them, or they find it difficult to give language to the complex emotions they harbor. If they weren't used to an environment where sharing their emotions was safe and modeled as acceptable, it might simply be easier to shut down.

They don't feel responsible for their behavior

Often, people who ghost feel justified in their behavior. They are more concerned with satisfying their immediate need, which is to cope (through avoidance, distance, and space). They may even feel that they have been hurt by other, more severe behaviors in the past and don't see this as particularly harmful, or at least underestimate the impact on you.

You have very different views

You have tried to reach agreement on a variety of issues, but you clearly differ on fundamental values, thoughts, or hopes for the future. People tend to prefer to be in the company of others who agree or align with their own worldview. This helps maintain psychological safety and . They would rather block you than admit that you may have some valid points or a worldview that may contradict or challenge theirs, because this represents a threat.

They need to be in control of the situation

The impact of the above is that they somehow feel that continuing a relationship with you will weaken them or create a power dynamic where they are no longer in control or on top. You didn't fit into their vision of how they saw their own life, or how they saw the relationship going, and they could no longer control your part in their life. If they can't control you, they would rather be in a relationship where they can have that control.

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