Sometimes small details like the things you have scattered around the bedroom are responsible for future breakups. Today we look at some of them
Breakups are sometimes inexplicable. Everything seemed to be going well and suddenly one of you doesn't feel as good in the relationship as before and decides to go your own way. There are many reasons that lead to this unpleasant moment: infidelity, dissatisfaction with life or simply a desire to step outside the boundaries of the relationship. But we don't pay attention to the small details, which always tell us about a negative factor underlying the relationship that eventually wreaks havoc to the point of making it impossible to continue.
In this sense, the objects we have at hand in our bedroom define, in a certain way, our personality. Order and cleanliness are important if you are trying to seduce someone or if that person has already made up their mind to be with you. But you also need to be concerned about the objects and possessions you have with you, because they are ultimately part of the stage set on which you will build your intimacy. Best Life magazine asked a number of relationship experts how the things we have lying around our homes affect marital happiness. I'm sure you'll recognize yourself in some of them.
A computer, a tablet or a notepad. Anything from the largest to the most insignificant that refers to your work can be a sign of stress or anxiety in a space that should only be for rest. And that obviously has negative repercussions if you share that space with someone else. “Anything that gives the impression of being productive, attentive or distracting you from your partner or sleep should be placed elsewhere in the house,” admits Aaron Kelsay, couples therapist.
If you have the console in the bedroom to play with and you overuse it, your partner may feel a little uncomfortable.
This opinion is shared by Ann Russo, also a psychologist specializing in couples, who believes that it is essential to remove “work-related objects, such as laptops or papers”, because they “prevent relaxation and rest”. On the other hand, “it can create a sense of imbalance between your work and personal life, giving the impression that your work takes priority over your partner. This is especially difficult in the age of telecommuting, but it is worth paying attention to.
Sports exercise equipment
Yes, exercise can help you relax and be in good spirits for the rest of your life. It is not only essential for maintaining good health and fitness, but it is also good for your mood. But if you have a small room and the exercise bike takes up a large part of it, your partner will probably want you to stop exercising, at least in that very personal space. Especially if you share it with her and have a set, established exercise routine.
Game consoles and other electronic devices
The love of video games, especially excessive video games, has broken up far more relationships than marital infidelity. If you have a game console in the bedroom and use it excessively, your partner may feel a little uncomfortable when he or she enters that personal space and finds you still in bed, riveted to the screen. It's not only bad in that sense, but it also interferes with the quality of sleep of the person playing or watching, “creating a sense of distance and hindering intimacy,” as Russo admits.
Although these items obviously decorate the house in a beautiful and cheerful way, it is not advisable to have a photo archive in the marital bed, as it takes up space and time from your relationship. “You should only place photos of you and your partner in this space to enhance the intimacy of the relationship,” says Nancy B. Irwin, psychologist.
Memories of your ex
Of course, don't even think about displaying items from your ex in the place where you sleep with your partner. “Imagine how you'd feel if you found out your new partner had a box of memorabilia from their ex,” says relationship therapist Heather England. “You'd probably wonder if he's really moved on or if he still misses her. At the very least, you'd have to put all of these things in a box,” she adds. Ultimately, it's best to make your room a comfortable, airy, minimalist space and gradually fill it with items that belong to you or allude to your relationship.
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