If you have noticed that these situations occur frequently, it is best that you close this stage of your life or that you talk seriously before everything gets worse.
If it is love, it does not hurt. There may be problems that test the stability of the couple, but if the way to face them is not in common and taking into consideration the opinion and feelings of the other, there is little to do. In the end, we can fall into the error of passing certain attitudes, comments or facts that we only tolerate for the mere fact that that person carries the title of being our “partner”. And, if these situations are repeated, they can lead to very dangerous abusive relationships.
At the slightest suspicion that we are not receiving the respect we deserve (and that we should not demand, especially from someone who supposedly loves us so much), the best thing to do is to cut off the relationship immediately. Do not hesitate to ask for help from family, friends and institutions if necessary. Ignoring the problems leads to the situation getting worse and worse.
In case you have detected small gestures or details that you do not like, such as the ones we will see below, and that represent a clear exception in our coexistence, do not hesitate to talk seriously with your partner so that he/she realizes that he/she is hurting you with these actions. From an article in Best Life magazine we will review some of them that may be a clear sign that your relationship is not working and that you must do everything on your part to fix it.
He laughs at you in front of people
Between couples there are always jokes and these can also occur in the middle of a social gathering with more friends or more couples. Another thing is if he directly insults or ridicules you in front of others and for no apparent reason or excuse to do so. Of course, if there are angry and reproachful grimaces in your eyes and yet he is unrepentant, this makes the situation worse. “These kinds of problems need to be addressed and not ignored,” comments Jennifer Kelman, a family therapist. “Otherwise, that pattern can become ingrained and erode the connection you have, as well as the ability to solve your problems in a healthy way.”
You don't trust each other
Trust, along with communication, is the foundation of a relationship, and we could see one as a consequence of the other. Without it, you can't set boundaries or agree to covenants about the very bond you have. “If trust is broken, it's important to address this problem immediately to rebuild it,” says Kerry Lauders. A partner can also be a good friend, and as such, it is essential that there is a sense of security that he or she will keep his or her word. Otherwise, the relationship will break down sooner or later, because it makes no sense to share so much with someone to whom you don't give the slightest credence.
You have incomprehensible jealousy
Jealousy is human, and as such, it is imbricated in every relationship. But if you have it for no reason or if it becomes an obsession for him or her, the best thing to do would be to cut it out, because you can't stop being the person you are with others because your partner asks you to based on an unrealistic idea that he or she has stuck in his or her head. Moreover, as Kelman warns, it is something that “never gets better over time, but rather, tends to get worse and lead to controlling behavior“.
Your values don't match
“It's essential that two people's core values are aligned in a relationship,” says Sarah Watson, a psychologist. “Lack of compatibility could signal deeper problems to come in the relationship. It's hard to keep the relationship moving forward when each partner is looking for or wants something different.” The best thing you can do is have a respectful conversation and figure out if you're really still compatible or if you should go your separate ways. “The couple has to grow together and having different priorities can make this impossible.“