The way we interact with others has a direct impact on their perception of us. But what if being liked wasn't so suggestive?
That's precisely what a number of experts argue, based on the analysis of certain habitual social behaviors. Discover our tips for being appreciated and loved by others, according to scientific studies.
The key to being liked: ask questions
It's essential to be open and interested in others. Actively asking questions is the first key. “The biggest mistake people make when it comes to listening is that they're so focused on what they're going to say next or how what the other person is saying will affect them, that they don't listen to what they're actually saying. An easy way to avoid this is to ask lots of questions. People like to know that you're listening, and something as simple as a clarifying question shows that not only are you listening, but that you also care about what they're saying,” explain Talent Smart experts.
A study entitled “It Doesn't Hurt to Ask: Question-Asking Increases Liking” published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, concludes that “people who ask a lot of questions, those who are interested in others, are perceived as more receptive and are more liked.”
Be open-minded and avoid judgment
Remaining open to other thoughts and opinions creates a greater predisposition to being liked. “Being open-minded makes you an approachable and interesting person to others. No one wants to have a conversation with someone who has already formed an opinion and isn't willing to listen,” explain the experts at Talent Smart.
“To remove preconceptions and judgments, you need to see the world through other people's eyes. This doesn't require you to believe what they believe or approve of their behavior, it just means you stop making judgments long enough to really understand what motivates them. Only then can you let them be who they are.”
Adopt a positive body posture
Your posture says a lot about you. Having a positive body posture, such as open arms, a smile and eye contact, reinforces a positive image. Sitting up straight and leaning toward the person you're talking to conveys trust and respect, as psychiatrist Rachel Riess explains in her book “The Empathy Effect: Seven Neuroscience-Based Keys for Transforming the Way We Live, Love, Work and Connect Across Differences.”
Likewise, the most liked people are those who are also able to identify when someone accepts or appreciates physical contact.
Be discreet and humble
Discretion and humility are two other keys to being appreciated by others. Attention should not be sought at all costs. “People are opposed to those who desperately want attention. You don't need to develop an extroverted personality to be likeable. You just have to be kind and considerate to ‘win' people over,” explain the experts at Talent Smart.
When you speak in a friendly, confident and concise manner, you'll notice that people are much more attentive than if you try to show them that you're important. People quickly understand your attitude and are more attracted by the right attitude than by the number of people you interact with.
Self-confidence can foster others' confidence in you. “People with an adequate degree of healthy narcissism have a positive attitude toward themselves and can recognize and appreciate their strengths and weaknesses. What's more, they can achieve their personal growth goals and establish healthy, satisfying interpersonal relationships while respecting the limits of others,” explain the Buencoco experts.
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