Money can be a thorny topic in a relationship, but knowing how to manage your finances properly takes a lot of effort from both of you… but it's worth it.
The Spanish proverb says that “a powerful gentleman is a gift of money” and this has been proven since the dawn of time and mankind has used it throughout history and centuries for the exchange of objects and goods. So much so that this means of payment has always been a subject of discussion and even more so, if possible, in a couple relationship.
According to a 2021 survey by Fidelity, a U.S. asset and pension fund management company, 44 percent of people occasionally argue about money with their partner. In fact, one in five admit it's their biggest relationship problem, and 24% of those surveyed say they are frustrated by their partner's financial habits, but keep quiet so as not to disrupt the party.
And that's okay, because everyone has a different relationship with money. This is based on the assumption that people in a couple have been raised differently and therefore have different financial teachings. Nonetheless, couples' arguments about money can serve as an initial step to begin building a solid foundation in the family's financial economy and finding a way forward. In fact, experts offer 5 recommendations for avoiding money disputes.
5 ways to avoid arguments with your partner about money
1 – Talk naturally: money doesn't have to be a thorny issue. In fact, talking about it naturally will make the couple's bond deeper and more lasting. Talking about how money was handled at home when you were both children and discussing how that teaching influenced each of you will help you understand how each of you handles your finances. Based on this, you can then address issues such as saving and spending in the future.
2 – Get down to business: Once you are clear on how you each feel about money, it's time to get down to business and develop a plan for managing your joint finances that everyone agrees on. You can then decide who will pay which bills, set aside a certain amount for joint expenses and another for individual expenses. This is the way to lay a solid financial foundation and get on the same page.
3 – Conduct monthly checks to keep finances under control: the financial statement is not a one-time thing. It should be reviewed at least once a month to prevent it from getting out of control. This is the time to discuss major purchases or investments and to take into account bills to be paid in order to plan expenses in advance. To do this, make sure you stick to your spending limits. This will help you avoid greater hardship.
4 – Be honest: Don't try to hide financial secrets from your partner, no matter how small. This will avoid arguments and help the other person understand your financial goals, attitudes and habits. Transparency helps identify areas where changes need to be made to avoid potential conflict. It is also the only way to plan and make decisions about these areas.
5 – Remember that you are a team: a couple's finances are a long-term partnership and should be treated as such. You are both a team and should act like one. Your partner should never be the enemy to blame if things go wrong. Joining forces against a common improvisation requires joint work and commitment. With mutual support, everything will be much more bearable.