Ghosting” is an increasingly common term in the digital age. The practice involves ending a relationship without giving the other party a clear explanation. If you've ever been a victim of this behavior, understanding the motivations behind it could help you avoid it in the future. Here are five reasons why you might have been “ghosted”.
Ghosting is on the rise
“A estas alturas tienes que saber perfectamente qué es el ghosting, por mucho que odies la terminología inglesa.”
These days, everyone should be familiar with the term “ghosting”, although some of us hate this word of English origin. Indeed, more and more people seem to be ghosting, especially at a time when online and social networking communication is booming. These are mainly people who decide to end a relationship without being able to bring it to a proper conclusion, and without expressing their feelings. In the end, they simply run away and stop responding to the other party in the relationship, without providing a clear explanation.
Ghosting is particularly confusing for the person who is abandoned without explanation. It is common for them to misunderstand what has happened, to blame themselves for what has happened, or to feel a lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem. Abandonment without explanation is a traumatic experience, because it's hard to come to terms with something that was important at one time.
Ghosting can be predicted
According to Psychology Today, ghosting can be predicted. In fact, it can be very useful. According to experts, ghosting prediction can facilitate healing, mourning, acceptance and final closure. Here are a few clues to help you predict it.
1. Abandonment in childhood
It is likely that those who practice ‘ghosting' suffered abandonment in childhood. They may say that they don't want a serious relationship or commitment, or that they only want casual sex. But when they describe their past relationships, whether with friends or romantic partners, a pattern often emerges: they leave or disconnect without giving any explanation, or they have a tendency to have casual sex.
2. They avoid expressing their feelings
Some people find their feelings overwhelming, or have difficulty expressing the complex emotions they experience. If they don't
grown up in an environment where sharing their emotions was safe and accepted, it may be easier for them to shut down.
3. They don't feel responsible for their behavior
People who ghost often feel justified in their behavior. They are more preoccupied with satisfying their immediate needs for escape, distance and space. They may even feel that they've been hurt more by harsher behavior in the past and don't see their behavior as particularly harmful, or at least they underestimate the impact on you.
4. You have very different points of view
You may have tried to find common ground on various issues, but your values, thoughts or hopes for the future clearly diverge. People tend to prefer the company of those who share or are aligned with their own worldview. This helps maintain psychological security. They would rather block you than admit that you might have a few valid points or a worldview that might contradict or challenge their own, as this represents a threat.
5. They need to control the situation
Ultimately, they may feel that continuing a relationship with you would weaken them or create a power dynamic in which they no longer have control. You don't fit their vision of their own life, or their vision of how the relationship should evolve, and they can no longer control your role in their lives. If they can't control the situation, they'd rather be in a relationship where they can have that control.
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