It's common to feel a sense of lost time after a romantic breakup, but you're about to discover how to stop seeing this experience as wasted time and rebuild yourself. Immerse yourself in this article that will guide you step by step to overcome this difficult period and make the best of it.
Breaking up in love: a six-step process
We all go through moments of love breakup, which can be as painful as the loss of a loved one. Psychologists have identified six stages of grief: conmoción, denial, isolation, anger, depression and finally acceptance. However, a feeling of incomprehension and regret may also arise, making us feel that everything was in vain and that we wasted our time.
The feeling of absurdity
This feeling comes from the existential absurdity that makes us see our relationships as a Sisyphean myth. We feel that all the illusion we put into the relationship is now irrelevant, since it has come to an end. In some cases, this can even prevent us from engaging in a new love relationship, as we reject the emotional and intimate connection knowing its absurdity.
The loss of a part of yourself
When you lose your partner, you also lose a part of yourself and the future you had planned together. Callisto Adams, a couples therapist and sex therapist, attributes this feeling to a wounded self-esteem or anger at “losing opportunities and experiences that would have been meaningful if the relationship had continued.” It is essential not to let regret and guilt overwhelm you.
How do you cope with this difficult time?
The first step to getting through this period is to be patient. Give yourself time to process your emotions and get out, meet with family and friends. They hold the key to helping you disconnect from the pain. As Adams advises, “Get involved in activities you enjoy, take care of yourself and seek professional help if necessary.
Reject the idea of failure
It's crucial not to view the end of your relationship as a failure. “We see failed relationships as failures because society often views these unions as a measure of success and personal happiness,” says the sex therapist. Make allowances for yourself and don't let the guilt get to you.
Relationships: a path, not a destination
Ultimately, relationships are not goals, but paths that we travel throughout our lives. The romantic ideal that love lasts forever is often an illusion, except in a few rare cases. For most of us, separating from a partner or starting a new relationship is a natural process that requires time and patience.
Instead of thinking that your relationship was meaningless simply because it ended, focus on what you learned from being with that person, the lessons they taught you and the good times you shared. Ultimately, every life experience, whether positive or negative, contributes to our growth and development as individuals.
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